Halong Bay to Hong Kong

Forrest Gump: "One day it started raining, and it didn't quit for four months. We been through every kind of rain there is. Little bitty stingin' rain... and big ol' fat rain. Rain that flew in sideways. And sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath."

Hanoi's just had the worst rain for 35 years, and I copped it. Last time it was that bad was probably when Forrest himself was there. It stayed relatively dry for the trip to Halong Bay though - about three hours from Hanoi - more than a thousand large rocks jutting out the ocean, some with stunning caves inside. Legend has it they were created by a swish of a dragon's tale, which may or may not be true. It was too good to be crap, but the tour company did their best. The guide, rather than knowing the first thing about the islands, caves and their history, spent the whole time pointing out rocks which looked like things (or often didn't). 'Over here is big lion, and there see, little lion.' When he pointed to a rock which he thought looked like a phallic penis - which he called 'manpower' - most of the group disbanded leaving the sleazy little idiot giggling away at his own joke.
My first attempt to get to Hong Kong was a fiasco. Acting on advice from the Chinese Embassy in London and the travel agent in Hanoi I got a bus without a Chinese visa and was promptly sent back from the border by polite but unbudging - even in the face of bribes - Chinese officials. I went back to Hanoi, gave the travel agent merry hell, and got a discounted flight.
As I've said in previous posts, I've got a couple of free hotel stays in Hong Kong. I'm currently in a flash suite with a harbour view. I've had a free massage and they're taking me on champagne cruise along the river, but I'll need to remortgage the flat before I so much as breathe on the minibar. I am to travel writing what Lovejoy was to antiques, a ludicrous chancer with bad hair and worse jokes who spends most his time getting in and out of scrapes. Anyway, I'll add photos next chance I get.